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Thursday, October 3, 2013

I could kiss the ground .. copied for the public from class blog.


"Don't open that door." That's what was screaming in my head when the kid in the front row stood between my professor and the door saying he was leaving. The selfishness of someone thinking about them self before everyone else in class. There were 15 of us in there. Maybe 20? Not sure.

I kept looking at the ceiling tiles, can I fit through there? My god there is someone outside that wall, somewhere with a gun.

"The kids, do I text their mom and let them know I'm ok? What do I tell my wife? Great, now I'm nervous, can this be seen, hands between my legs, that will hide the hesitance. "

Thoughts in my head as the alarm went off on the wall today in class. A shooter was here, in Springfield Missouri. Of all the places in America, here, we have four colleges, were all still learning in life, why would anyone want to harm us? We are no body at this point.

Rat in a cage.

Trapped. If I get up and leave, someone could get hurt if I open the door, but there are a million places I'd rather be today.

Texting my wife, my friend next to me says they've shot one person at Drury. Over a judge? Over what? Where do students play into this? Someone please make sense of this. Finding out later, no one was hurt, injured, or shot.

A lot of us were made aware though.

Another alarm, telling us what the suspect looks like, no one in class fits that description. Nope, not you,not you, not you. Is the glass on the door bullet proof? Is the door bullet proof? How come she's even trying to teach this right now, what did she say?

Everyone says there is nothing you can do.

As someone who has walked away from it, who got to breathe air again, I looked to the sky in thanks to the lord. I wanted to kiss the ground. I was free. There is a lot more we could be doing.

Trapped like an animal, my mind turns to the boys at Guadalcanal, trapped on that island, at the mercy of Japanese warfare, the government all but leaving them for dead. "You're on you're own."

No heroes in this. My mind plays to those lost in Aurora Colorado, trapped, like animals, backed into a wall, no where to go.

This is it.

Life, love life. Live to your fullest and don't look back. The moment that comes where you're against the wall side by side with death, looking inside yourself for your deepest fears, life is never as bad as it seems. At least you are alive.