Oh Brother... Good grief 6/30

So today I went through and found supporting articles on my writing due this next week. I have been brainstorming all week. Looking at different aspects of passion, what it means, how is it derived in society, examples of people in society who have used their passion to obtain goals. Einstein, Patrick Henry, Paul Revere, and many many others.

I was stumped. I said to myself all day, where do I start? I work from home so my computer sits next to me, while my work computer sits on the other side. I plan vacations and talk to people all day. I didn't want to start a thought, take a call, and then come back, read what I wrote to catch up on my thoughts to continue writing. Its tiring and endless and totally not worth the headache. I'd rather read up, research and brainstorm and write after work.

So it was after a day of researching and reading that I started backwards with my citation page first. What will I use after that? I then started my thesis statement. Wondered halfway through if I should be using my credo as my opening paragraph. Is this the meat Ms. Anthony wants to add to the skeleton?

Harumph! 

After taking a shower this evening, I sit down to continue writing. I have found this exercise to be  comforting and my productivity for the day. I tend to look over the next days assignments and write, then I look over literature, read, and answer questions. I then see this evening still due, two quizzes due tomorrow, writing on Frankenstein due this week and this 3-4 page mammoth that scares the living crap out of me.

I started probing my wife for answers. "Babe, I am reading this assignment again (because I always double check my assignments like everyone else) did all this research and come to find out she (Ms. Anthony) wants personal experiences". "I'm stumped". She sits down next to me and says, "your children? Beer making? Airplanes? Your marriage? Politics?" DUH! The look first (deer in headlights, or raccoon you pick) and then the word comes out of my mouth.

Now I don't know where to start.. all over again.. Ms. Anthony I will attempt to keep it within 4 pages. I have hobbies, I love life and do quite a bit of things that keep me interested. I am passionate about all of them. Otherwise whats the point in doing them?

I appreciate the challenges school has presented in the last few months, the balance in classes, the reading and amount of writing involved has been exceptional.

Oh brother! .. Good Grief!

Always go to a funeral response - blog 6/29

I believe I wrote earlier in the blog about how people will find themselves. In Deirdre Sullivan's Always Go to the Funeral, she points out how even though its an inconvenience, you still always go to someones funeral.

I actually had this encounter not so much as an inconvenience but merely as an unexpected instance in life. A family member of mine had passed away. The problem with a death in the family that shocks everyone is the one where arrangements are made at the last minute, outfits, who will be a pall bearer, who will say what? Do I mention the uncle that isn't here that our recently departed loved that everyone disliked? Where will everyone eat afterwards? It's a shuffle. Almost like planning a wedding, family can be the worst or the best at big life events, birth, marriage, and death. The funeral was not an inconvenience. I would have went anywhere to remember this person, as much of an influence as he was in my wife's life. The people who had to sacrifice time to make the trip. It's really something when it happens so fast.

On the other hand I have experienced funerals where we knew someone was passing, almost a week before it happened. It was so surreal, everyone had taken off of work a week before, came home and made plans almost to the day that they would return to their homes. The funeral director proclaimed it had been the most well put together funeral he had ever directed. Everything just fell into place. It's strange how this all happened though.

 I like how the author showed that going to funerals is an inconvenience. What she doesn't mention is how much of an inconvenience death is for the person who has died. To know looking down that all these people had to miss work because of them. To be dead pure and simple. Is death really an inconvenience for everyone?

MEN ARE HERE! - In reflection of Bird by Bird 6/28

Tonight I went to a goodbye party for someone who took a chance and a leap of faith to move to Phoenix. My sister in law is dating him and she is really truly happy to be with him. It is a big deal for her to have someone who truly treats her with dignity, respect and like a lady. So sayonara seeester! Have fun in Phoenix. 

As for the dinner, how do you listen and respond to a conversation you have nothing to speak about? I am a person who likes to be social, but bring out the conversation about edelbrock engines, carburetors, and spark plug ignition timing and I am lost, sleeping rather. I remember text messaging my wife saying.. “car talk *yawn* can we talk about baseball or beer brewing now?”

In civilized conversation I would like to know where we stand as writers if this is our chosen path. I am not saying that I am wanting to do the “sophomore class shuffle” but I am really enjoying writing each night. I may get a job as a paralegal but as excited as I am to be writing again I may chose to do it for fun again. Much like our story Bird by Bird, how hard is it to get up and write something each day? This man was an engineer and went to work with tougher men than nails and still had a sensitive soul enough to write. Am I to banish my new found hobby to the closet? Am I only supposed to write once a day to feel artistic enough to fulfill my soul? 

I am challenged each day by people at work, my exes with my children to live a life of stress. I have found solace in my words, the way they flow onto the paper. Can my writing help fight against heart disease? I’m happy doing this. I felt that in Bird by Bird the author’s father was happy doing it.

How about that Cardinals game? I think those Chiefs have a chance this year. Argghh! Men are here. Talk motors, eat meat. I was so happy to come home and write. It’s crazy how these last few weeks I have changed in this respect.

The Glass is Always Full if you pay the Water Bill 6/27

My reading of Be Cool the Pizza Delivery Dude influenced the following insight to one of what I feel is life's misconstrued outlooks. 

The Glass is always full if you pay the water bill; 

 You often hear this annoying optimist/pessimist argument regarding to someone’s outlook in life. I have to say, how can you see it that way? Life is pure chance until the day you're told to wake up and realize you are all you have to make your decisions. This normally occurs in adolescence. For some of us a lot earlier than that, even so some of them still don't get the hint.

Pay your bills. It’s not that hard. Willpower is something my grandfather taught me at a young age. No matter how much he tempted me not to eat the candy mint in my pocket, I still hid behind the shed and ate it… leaving me with no mint for after dinner. My lesson? Because I couldn’t wait, I had nothing to enjoy later. As a young man I was blessed with a large sum of money. I spent it, every dime. There have been hundreds of times afterwards where I have thought to myself, if only I had invested it instead of buying that car or stereo set. Life at that point seemed like the glass was half empty.

Are you following me yet? 

Be on time. The countless times I have shot myself in the foot for not being on time for opportunities. A dollar short and a day late some say. Is this pure luck or just chance? Nope, wrong again. I was late because my lazy self wanted to lie in bed. Therefore losing out on the opportunity to be better at something or earn a better position. The jobs I have lost! 

Open your ears and shut your mouth. Seriously, I cannot count the times my mouth has gotten me in trouble. Talking too much in a situation, where if I had just kept my mouth shut, I wouldn’t have caused so much trouble for myself. 

Still not following me? 

Look at it this way, life is what YOU make of it. The glass is never half full if you keep opening your mouth when you know you shouldn’t, spend money you don’t really have, or frequently run late, setting yourself up for failure. The moral to this whole thing is that you shouldn’t blame the cosmic way of a glass being half full or empty. Just pay your water bill and refill the glass when you drink the top half. The argument makes no sense if you’re the only person who controls your actions.

In my life I have also held many jobs like Sarah Adams. Most of the time I would lose one, or quit. I would say to myself all the time, "this job doesn't pay enough", "I do not feel fulfilled or successful in my job", or "I am not a man because I don't work hard enough". I too carried the thought that the glass was half empty until one day I realized that my glass was only "half empty" because I chose to do nothing about it. 

I'm married now, have three kids, where clean clothes to work and home. I am getting an education from a college. I have a wife who has dinner ready, always bakes good stuff. I have a support system and three stinky, fun loving dogs. There are things to eat and drink in my fridge and a roof over my head. Its all here because I wanted it. I waited for it and made it all happen. I paid the freaking water bill. No one else did it for me.

I say to those who argue about the glass being half empty. Pay your water bill, and you shall never go thirsty again.. 

Cheers!

Know your audience

In my “know your audience” response I was astonished at how many people neglected to mention the music of their life. I expected questions about kids, favorite colors, how many pets and even my question about vacations.  I was excited to answer this question about music because I feel music is a great way to communicate. It makes you feel alive.

Feel that warm summer breeze on your back, in a shack down on the bayou? You can feel the soul coming through the back door off the water. Come on now dance with me, you feel me? How about a slow dance on the ocean with something melodic, smell the salt, feel the spray of the ocean, sense the blue of the water, as the darkness of the sky consumes you.  How about that cool evening chill down in the foothills of the Ozark Mountains in October? Listen to that lonesome whine of a steel guitar, the pitch of a harmonica as you begin to tap your foot and sing along with the banjo.

College is not what I anticipated it to be. I don’t know everything that I had in mind but it’s certainly not what Hollywood has made it out to be. It never portrays the fact that people are not on an even playing field when it comes to classes. If you haven’t taken the class  before, you of course do not know how to respond. We all have those moments of ignorance where we gaze at the screen thinking “huh?” What is the professor wanting me to write again? For most of us, we live lives fast or slow, stay at home moms, stay at home dads, single moms and dads, full time workers, some of us with no job. Feel like you’re listening to the end of the Breakfast Club yet? I feel that my audience is just learning how to write, either for the first time, or again. Just like myself. It’s going to evolve for all of us. We will all have a favorite song defining our lives one day. We will all have a vacation, a lot of us will have kids, we all have a favorite color, and I am sure we all have high school friends we will meet up with again in life. 

“Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast Club”

Works Cited

Hughes, John, writ. The Breakfast Club. Narr. Anthony M. Hall. 1985. Universal Studios. Web. 27 June

Passion, is the only adventure. -Credo

 When I worked for Express Jet airlines I was determined to be the best scheduler and dispatcher I could be going above and beyond my job in research, overtime, and even spending time in the field with people I worked for to learn their lifestyle so that I could make their jobs easier. I put the airline before my own life, I dedicated and committed myself to my work. It is this passion that goes with me every day in life. When I do anything I am the most passionate person I can be. Being the best you can be will help you strive to accomplish bigger and better things, instead of settling for second best. When someone is passionate about their position in life, family, personal goals, or their job, it makes living easier; you enjoy your activities more. You can be knowledgeable in what you do every day, but without passion there is no drive, no incentive to be better, or have a desire to make major life accomplishments. Passion makes someone become a graduate, or rise to the top in a major corporation. Passion leaves you wanting more, earning more, and maintaining a positive outlook on life. It is with a strong heart that I follow my desires and make a positive step forward without standing back or licking my wounds. To be passionate is to have a willingness to be wrong. Being wrong makes the most passionate strive to be better, building their character its peak.

To know me is to fly with me 6/26

Take a look around you, how many people occupy your space? Take that feeling of peace or stress and place yourself in the middle of an airline terminal. Take for instance you are an international traveler going to a foreign place with no interpretation or insight to the culture, people, geography or availability of amenities. Now picture yourself a thousand miles away from home before you start your journey. Now try to breathe. Exhilarating isn't it? Are you excited? Can you feel your feet?

This is the joy I feel every time I travel. The thought of being in one place and then another in less than four hours. The airport to me is my zen. The hustle, bustle, snapping of newspapers, mothers with their children and husbands with their dumb looks trying to figure out gate assignments, keeping their kids quiet, and fed. I have never seen a "vacation only traveler" take less than 5 minutes to chose their breakfast decisions for a family. You're not going to save money here, I know you didn't plan on this decision when making your vacation choice so please take your time, I can wait. I've come to expect that a breakfast, lunch, or dinner doesn't cost less than $15.00 in an airport. With this advice please keep this in mind. I'm not a snob, I just know what I want. My coffee, my paper, and to sit and wait. 

The boarding process gets everyone in their seats, if it weren't for overhead and carry-on luggage we'd all be in our seats and not delayed. We're seated now, flight attendant is making her rounds and were all ready to go. The quick good-byes on phones being turned off, glancing behind me there are no kids crying, and no body fighting with their luggage. Its time to go. The plane pushes back, the second engine turning on, the planes air system kicks on with a scent of jet fuel, dirty smog from the town you're leaving and a hint of perfume from the lady in front of me. Taking the top off my coffee I take a sip, inhaling the steam coming off the top.. complete comfort. I'm settled down in my seat, feet extended, my head leaned into the window, time for takeoff. The slow rumble from beneath my feet, then my back, by the time I feel it, we're rolling down the runway, faster, faster, faster the front of the plan lifts in front of me, the plane is off the ground the wind comes under the plane and cradles it like a baby. I feel it coming, the most amazing feeling of complete freedom and  when all of a sudden..  Lift...

I believe

                                                                   I believe

1.       I believe I can write.

2.       I believe I can run as long as my lungs will carry me.

3.       I believe I have the world’s greatest children.

4.       I believe I can do what I want to do in life.

5.       I believe I can do what I put my mind to.

6.       I believe I can do this.

7.        I believe I can write for ten minutes

8.       I believe I can do this assignment.

9.       I believe I can make a good grade in this class.

10.   I believe I am a good father.

11.   I believe that this will help me be a better writer.

12.   I believe that I am going to do great things.

13.   I believe that my wife is a great cook.

14.   I believe that this assignment makes me crazy.

15.   I believe that I am going to finish this assignment.

16.   I believe that since I have done this before I have the added edge.

17.   I believe that this has no point.

18.   I believe I have good confidence to finish College.

19.   I believe that I can.

20.   I believe in America

21.   I believe that I can achieve greatness.

22.   I believe I will be a leader one day.

23.   I believe in the constitution of the United States.

24.   I believe in the first amendment.

25.   I believe in the second amendment.

26.   I believe in certain unalienable rights .

27.   I believe in our founding fathers.

Free-writing;

I believe I have the worlds greatest children, they have the greatest smiles I think about how my son Derek is looking at me and I caress the back of his head with my hand so many summers 6 so far where he has been alove and well the sun that has caressed this same spot how he has laughed and brought joy to my life daddy I want some juice daddy I want a cookie daddy my feet hurt i am tried no one, two threeee the time when he turned the tv off on all of us in the playoffs in 2007 looking back at us just grinning I think about my daughter and I think about her laugh her anger her bright red cheeks beaming at me and telling me she loves me do you have any stinky poo? Thegame played between my kids and I in a Sherlock holmes sort of voice who is this miss henny penny umm do you have any stinky poo?? Noooo daddy I don’t have any stinky poo daddy, daddy look an airplane, pey pey get away from there you’re going to get hurt I am so proud of you for seeing the airplane and knowing that I love you I love you too, who is that peyton? That’s abby, that’s daddy Derek what song do you want to listen too? Baby baby baby daddy I want to go play dad did you know that the girls in school make fun of me? That little girl will not stop bugging me for a piece of gum. I really want to punch her, alexis why would you want to do that is it necessary? Why would you want to do that? That is not nice why cant you avoid conflict? Alexis are you going to school today? I just called to say happy fathers day. I really didn’t want her attitude when she talks to me that way it erks me in no other way. I am really justified in being upset that she cant cool her temper and stop being angry with me about things I cannot control.

629 words.

You are not perfect, you are yourself - Jung Typology

 

INTJ

Introvert(33%)  iNtuitive(50%)  Thinking(12%)  Judging(56%)

• You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (33%)
• You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (50%)
• You have slight preference of Thinking over Feeling (12%)
• You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (56%)

Famous Personalities Sharing My Type

• Stephen Hawking, a theoretical physicist, cosmologist, and author
• Andrew Grove, a businessman, engineer, and author
• Marie Curie, a physicist and chemist famous for her pioneering research on radioactivity
• Guy Kawasaki, a venture capitalist, bestselling author, and Apple Fellow
• Igor Sikorsky, a pioneer of aviation
• Hillary Clinton, the 67th US Secretary of State

My reflection of my test results leave me fairly pleased. I am excited to see how my writing turns out in the next few years. There were some things to discuss about the indicators from Jung's personality test.

Introversion- I love working alone on projects. I can formulate my own ideas, create my own processes and if it is successful or unsuccessful I am the one to blame. It is however hard sometimes when I feel like I may have missed a step in a project and I need to ask someone. I feel like I am less intelligent or wasn't paying attention. Group work sometimes gives me a bad feeling in my stomach. I feel that I can excel in writing by being introverted. Mostly because it is going to be my writing on the papers I turn in.

Intuition- My intuition plays a big role in who I am every day. I go by the pit of my stomach in a lot of things. This I believe will help me in my writing to be more creative in creating a message to my readers. I have always struggled in writing to explain certain situations without creating a long drawn out paper that bores my readers. I would like to be able to harness the energy from my intuition and write shorter, more interesting fact filled papers without having to use instances or explain three or four items of my hypothesis.

Thinking over feeling- I try to always think about things in life and why they happen. In my writing I like to think about what I am writing as I am writing it. How will the reader feel? Will I offend someone? Am I making sense? These are all questions that go through my head as I write. I feel that being able to think less, and write more with a free hand I can overcome this and be a better writer. Not necessarily being insensitive to my writers or not doing my assignments to format, but maybe a free flow may help me find what I was trying to say. I hit the backspace key a lot. In fact I have erased this entire assignment now four times.

Judging over Percieving- Its hard to make heads of tails of something. I find it easier to use my conclusions in my writing based upon the facts and what has actually happened. I like to look deeper into someone's thought process and base that purely upon my own deductions of the actions that have taken place. This has hurt many relationships for me in the past with friends and colleagues. Sometimes being right doesn't really mean you're successful. There are just something's you don't say or do. I have to be mindful in my writing trying to see the perception of the persons actions, or the authors reasons (author of a story I am writing about) rather than what I feel is really going on. By being able to see the perception of another person I will be a better writer, It helps me to find something I wouldn't otherwise find in writing if I just know what to look for instead of going for my own intuition. This was a hard trait to write on as far as comparing it to my writing. In my life, not so much. As a writer I struggled.

This assignment left me in a state of excitement and also thinking about what I can change. Is it a good thing to use judgment over perception? Is thinking better than feeling? What happened to follow your heart?

I really was surprised by the test results. I think knowing what I know now, I have an explanation as to why I tend to do things the way I do. Writing out of anger has been my biggest downfall in the past. It messes up my grammar, my writing repeats itself in run-off form and I don't make any sense. As for making sense, my writing has always suffered just because having so much going on when I write papers, I always find it hard to make a paper flow. I am getting better at it though.
I know that this test helps my personality and knowing a little bit more about myself, but I feel that only time will tell what I will learn from this class.
 I do not think this test defines my writing at this point. I feel that I have four things to look at when writing now. By making a note in my mind about these four personality traits I will be able to formulate better ideas based upon my personality and not have to try so hard to make something work in my own words. It will be best said if I just say it instead of thinking about it. Using my intuition I can go with whatever is in my heart and make it flow right onto the paper. My writing in college will not suffer. I will be a better writer. Practice may absolutely make perfect, but who wants to be perfect? I'd rather be myself first.